


lettuce bros

by Artificially_Inane



Category: ATEEZ (Band), GOT7, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Asexual Character, Everyone Is Gay, Fuck we're all stupid I didn't realize I was that stupid let alone other people, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, This has all happened in real life, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22500547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artificially_Inane/pseuds/Artificially_Inane
Summary: twin uno: u know like the wushi finger hold in panda express
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 11
Kudos: 127





	1. south is down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chanathan=chan  
> slut drop king: Minho  
> lonk boii: Hyunjin  
> orrrganic: Changbin  
> wackson: Jackson  
> twin uno: Jisung  
> twin dos: Felix  
> satan: Seungmin  
> baby: Jeongin

**lettuce fam [18:07]**

**twin** **uno:** all i'm saying is that the earth is shaped like a burrito  
  
  


**chanathan** **:** how dumb are you

**twin uno:** i'm not dumb i'm gay

**twin uno:** there's a difference

**twin dos:** exactly

**slut drop king:** jisung i love you but you're so fucking dumb it's insane how dumb you are

**twin uno:** at least i'm not a cat whore

**slut drop king:** having three cats doesn't make me a cat whore

**baby:** what the fuck does cat whore even mean

**lettuce bros [22:48]**

**chanathan:** imagine being fucking gay

**twin dos:** chan you're literally pan

**chanathan:** but not gay

**twin uno:** shut the fuck up it's 1 am

**orrrganic:** it's really not but go off i guess

**twin uno:** shut up you mostly chin fucker

**orrrganic:** at least i don't like knees bitch

**twin uno:** i'm coming to your house where is it

**orrrganic:** south from yours

**twin uno:** bro i don't know which way south is

**satan:** bro south is down

**twin uno:** thanks bro

**lonk boii:** it's really not

**twin uno:** shut up hwang or i'll deadass destroy you

**lonk boii:** with what you gonna bite my kneecaps

**twin uno:** i'll use the wushi finger hold

**wackson:** the what

**twin uno:** u know like the wushi finger hold in panda express

**chanathan:** no. no, that's not right, that's definitely not right. that's wrong.

**wackson:** all of you

**wackson:** go :) to :) sleep :)

**twin dos:** okay!

**twin uno:** i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me

**wackson:** >:}

**twin uno:** OKAY I"LL GO TO BED DON"T HURT ME


	2. cromch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cromch cromch bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaooo wanna deepthroat a spider with me
> 
> jkjk
> 
> unless?

**lettuce bros [9:24]**

**baby:** good morning!

**lonk boii:** innie!! how are you?

**baby:** i'm boutta eat some glass

**baby:** yum yum

**chanathan:** you're what

**baby:** _cromch_

**slut drop king:** get those daily nutrients

**chanathan:** NO

**twin uno:** no balls you won't

**twin dos:** innie, don't, you'll hurt yourself :(((

**baby:** okay lixie-hyung :)

**chanathan:** so when I try and save you from hurting yourself it's 'cromch'

**chanathan:** but when felix tries to save you it's 'okay'

**chanathan:** I see how it is

**wackson:** channie we all know that innie is [redacted] for lixie

**baby:** shut

**wackson:** yes?

**baby:** nvm

**twin uno:** lmao lix is oblivious

**twin dos:** to what?

**baby:** exactly

**orrrganic:** someone buy me ice cream

**satan:** get it yourself bitch

**wackson:** be nice, seungmin

**wackson:** changbin, you should buy it yourself because no one else wants to get it for you

**chanathan:** lmao that was the nice kind of worse

**baby:** will someone buy me ice cream?

**satan:** of course i'll pick you up in 10

**orrrganic:** oh I see how it is

**wackson:** it was either buy him ice cream or have him eat glass

**orrrganic:** fair point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanna roleplay ratatouille


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby: i don't care if you wore socks it's still gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo is this an update

**lettuce bros [8:45]**

**baby:** changbin just got k.o.ed by felix

**baby:** don't press f because that means we respect him.

**orrrganic:** oh i see how it is

**chanathan:** someone explain

**baby:** changbin was a dumb bitch and challenged felix's dominance by t-posing at him

**twin dos:** no one out pizzas the hut

**twin uno:** if you kiss someone that you despise but you're wearing socks is it still considered a kiss?

**baby:** yes

**twin uno:** even with socks

**baby:** i don't care if you wore socks it's still gay

**twin uno:** i never said it was gay????

**baby:** it was implied

**lonk boii:** jisung kissed someone?

**lonk boii:** weird who'd want to touch that rat-looking mouth

**wackson:** don't start kids

**twin uno:** someone moderately attractive that i still despise after kissing

**slut drop king:** so hyunjin

**twin dos:** shots?

**baby:** fired

**chanathan:** y'all

**chanathan:** shut up before i rip out your kidneys

**baby:** ooh dad snapped

**chanathan:** one more word and you won't see tomorrow

**twin dos:**....tiktokthot

**chanathan:** FELIX

**twin dos:** so when we play scrabble it's not a word but now it is?

**twin dos:** get your story straight

**baby:** hard to do that when he's not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have hands to hold rats


	4. zoom zoom bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry about that two(????) day hiatus fam turns out I just needed a shit ton of sleep and some good ass food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jyp kinda sexy tho

**lettuce bros** **[1:53]**

**chanathan:** so i'm not saying that I want to go skateboard down a hill at 2 in the morning, but

**chanathan:** zoom zoom bitches

**slut drop king:** I say this as not your friend, but your two a.m. guidance counselor for your life choices

**twin uno:** do a cool flip

**slut drop king:** come over to my house so we can talk instead of you hurting yourself

**slut drop king:** HAN JISUNG

**twin uno:** sorry gotta go walk the cactus

**chanathan:** i'd love to but also

**chanathan:** I can do a cool flip

**slut drop king:** i'm coming over you dumbass

**lettuce bros [10:65]**

**wackson:** so Minho did you cuddle chan to sleep.

**slut drop king:** :)))))) no :))))))))))

**slut drop king:** because somebody decided that a 2:30 a.m. trip to the ER sounded like a fun idea

**chanathan:** did a cool flip

**chanathan:** not a cool landing

**slut drop king:** shut the fuck up you dumb bitch before I break your arm again

**slut drop king:** I just wanted to talk to you and what did you decide to do?

**chanathan:** be a dumb bitch...

**slut drop king:** be a dumb bitch, exactly

**slut drop king:** so what have you been forbidden from doing?

**chanathan:** doing dumb things

**slut drop king:** and?

**chanathan:** being alone because I can't be trusted to not do dumb things

**slut drop king:** exactly

**twin uno:** psh Minho just wanted an excuse to be with you more

**chanathan:** I mean

**chanathan:** i'm not complaining

**slut drop king:** oh no sir

**slut drop king:** every second i'm with you will be pure torture :}


	5. ur smexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho in a skirt?
> 
> More likely than you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing too seriously smutty just a hot makeout session
> 
> jkjkjk it's not hot I can't write

**lettuce bros [12:69]**

**chanathan:** yuo giys

**satan:** sup

**chanathan:** Minho wasn't lying abiut the torture

**orrrganic:** lmao what'd he due to you

**slut drop king:** this

**twin dos:** damn you went all out huh

**twin uno:** you look good

**chanathan:** no not good

**chanathan:** I mean you look good but you said I can't touch you and it's unfair

**wackson:** maybe you shouldn't have been dumb huh

**\--**

"Do you need anything, Channie-hyung?" Minho asked sweetly from his perch on the kitchen counter.

Chan stared at him, his eyes straying from Minho's face to his thighs and he coughed, his cheeks tinting pink. "Some water?" he said, and Minho slid off the counter, the skirt riding up his thighs further. Chan's eyes widened and he made a strained noise. "Minho."

  
"Yeah?" Minho asked, walking over to Chan with a glass of water and setting it down on the coffee table.  
  


Chan shook his head, trying to tear his gaze from Minho's thighs. "Nothing."  
  


Minho smirked and sat in Chan's lap, resting his hand against the older's bare chest. "You sure?"  
  


Chan cupped Minho's face with his good hand and brought him in for a kiss, slotting their lips together passionately. Minho melted against him, tangling his fingers in Chan's hair and kissing him harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I can't write kissing scenes
> 
> someone help
> 
> and make Minho actually wear a skirt


	6. disney magic bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shdfbjshdfbdsjfh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought quarantine would inspire me instead i've been playing animal crossing

**lettuce bros 11:54  
**

**chanathan:** who the hell put the muffins in the freezer

**satan:** your mom

**wackson:** can't say i did

**twin dos:** it was jisung

**twin uno:** wow so much for keeping it a secret

**orrrganic:** just wait for them to thaw

**baby:** yeah honestly

**slut drop king:** but they'll still have the frozen taste

**lonk boii:** i can't believe y'all are arguing about frozen muffins when you could be arguing about the fact that the ice cube dispenser at hyung's house is dispensing hot dogs

**chanathan:** HYUNJIN WHAT THE FUCK HOW

**lonk boii:** :DDD

**twin uno:** respectable.

**twin uno:** i'll stop hating you for a day.

**lonk boii:** wow what an honor

**twin dos:** dishonor on you

**twin dos:** dishonor on your cow

**baby:** dishonor on your whole family

**twin dos:** :o

**twin dos:** marry me

**baby:** at least take me to dinner first.

**twin dos:** tomorrow at 6 I'll pick you up

**baby:** fine with me

**chanathan:** holy hell did you guys just ask eachother out by quoting mulan

**baby:** disney magic bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a discord server!!
> 
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


	7. salad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> salad is not a fucking soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate my friends

**lettuce bros [9:32]**

**slut drop king:** Give me something to think about to distract me from my life falling apart

**satan:** is salad a soup?

**slut drop king:** What the fuck no

**satan:** b u t hear me out

**satan:** you got the dressing broth and the other stuff

**baby:** sobs

**slut drop king:** It's not a fucking soup what the hell

**slut drop king:** SOUP HAS TO HAVE LEGITIMATE BROTH

**baby:** yeah it’s a soup

**twin dos:** but does it really 

**baby:** yes

**twin dos:** hhhhhhhhot salad is a soup!   
  
**twin dos:**

**baby:** exactly!!

**twin dos:** do u see that  _ primarily liquid _

**satan:** mmmmm  _ liquid food _

**twin dos:** doesn’t  **have** to be liquid

**satan:** lemme just blend my hamburger

**slut drop king:** I hate you all

**satan:** but im giving you t h o u g h t s

**baby:** ITS SOUP

**baby:** salad is so u p

**twin dos:** @satan wouldn’t blended hamburger be a smoothie

**baby:** anything is soup if you liquify it enough

**satan:** idk its just liquid food

**baby:** technically, if I was sitting in a bathtub with some broth

**baby:** I could be soup!

**twin dos:** gaymer girl soup!

**satan:** I AM SOUP

**baby:** new sales idea!

**satan:** WAIT

**satan:** is the ocean soup??

**baby:** yes

**twin dos:** hhhhh

**twin dos:** imma say no? you can’t drink ocean water like you could a broth

**twin dos:** but that is the only reason

**satan:** i mean  **Technically** you can

**satan:** you might just not feel well after

**twin dos:** you’d D-word but it’s all in the name of some tasty food

**baby:** it’s a very unhealthy soup

**satan** : yeah like ice cream soup

**satan:** if u eat too much you get sick

**baby:** yes

**baby:** is the the thought you wanted

**baby:** did you want this, Minho

**twin dos:** @slut drop king yo we have given you cursed thoughts I’m begging you to let us go home to our families

**slut drop king:** I fucking hate you

  
**slut drop king:** You're staying in the prison

**chanathan:** this is turning the frogs gay

**twin dos:** this is homiephobic

**chanathan:** I kicked a fucking figure I have and I’m laughing it hurts

**twin dos:** I have a family to feed

**chanathan:** we feed on the gays

**baby:** Jeongin found sock!

**baby:** Jeongin is free!!!

**chanathan:** escape while you can

**twin dos:** Jeongin take me with you

**baby:** get your own sock

**twin dos:** I can’t believe this

**chanathan:** socks with individual toes

**twin dos:** those are the only socks

**slut drop king:** @chanathan We don’t feed on gays. No cannibalsim   
  


**slut drop king:** Cannibalism

**chanathan:** canned soup

**slut drop king:** What

**chanathan:** canned soup

**twin dos:** canned gays

**twin dos:** y’all are tiny enough to fit in soup cans

**slut drop king:** Bitch I'm taller than you

**twin dos:** I was about to say that

**baby:** canned penis

**slut drop king:** hmm not quite Jeongin

**baby:** awwwww

**slut drop king:** I act tiny (ish) and in the right pictures I can look tiny

**slut drop king:** But I'm tall

**chanathan:** soup Chan and you just see my eyes

**baby:** i am tiny

**slut drop king:** That's disgusting

**baby:** I act big _  
  
_

**baby:** am tiny

**chanathan:** I am 9”9

**twin dos:** sentient soup

**slut drop king:** @chanathan The fuck you ain't 9’9”

**baby:** sobs

**chanathan:** like that film sausage party

**twin dos:** why aren’t you 6’9”

**twin dos:** that’s a sexier height

**baby:** sausage party was weird

**baby:** it was stupid imagine sliding your whole body in between someone

**satan:** i heard sausage

**chanathan:** sausage roll   
  


**chanathan:** I’m 9’9 but my limbs are not to proportion   
  


**chanathan:** my arm drags through the mud

**slut drop king:** 9'9” in spirit

**slut drop king:** As the lord of lettuce I'm shutting down that salad is a soup

**slut drop king:** End of story

**baby:** it’s soup yes

**slut drop king:** NO

**baby:** yes   
  


**twin dos:** I WILL COMMIT AS MANY THOUGHT CRIMES AS I WISH

**twin dos:** BIG BROTHER CANT STOP ME THINKING ABOUT SALAD SOUP

**chanathan:** big brother not telling people about corona was a Crime

**slut drop king:** Big brother wishes they didn't have to witness this fucking conversation

**twin dos:** too bad   
  
**chanathan:** but what if I make my salad with a lot of sauce

**baby:** then it’s a SOUP

**twin dos:** if I’m subject to my own thoughts then you have to be too

**chanathan:** is it a soup if all the veggies are floating in tomato sauce   
  


**chanathan:** sOrRY kEtChUp

**baby:** it’s soup.

**slut drop king:** It's

**slut drop king:** Not   
  
**slut drop king:** Soup

**baby:** it’s SOIP

**baby:** SOUP   
  


**slut drop king:** NO IT'S NOT

**chanathan:** it Can be a soup

**baby:** YES IT IS

**baby:** IT

**baby:** IS   
  


**baby:** SOUP

**slut drop king:** NO

**baby:** YES

**chanathan:** sloppy soup

**slut drop king:** HHHHHHHHHHH

**slut drop king:** I hate you

**chanathan:** just accept it

**slut drop king:** You're going to the torture chamber.

**chanathan:** yes papi

**slut drop king:** Fuck you

**baby:** when you send your wife to her personal torture chamber

**slut drop king:** STOP

**slut drop king:** STOP IT

**orrrganic** : im gon make a soup guess what type of soup

**slut drop king:** FUCK

**baby:** salad soup!

**chanathan :**   


**chanathan:** enjoy dinner

**baby:** your wife has prepared supper my lord

**twin dos:** mmm tasty

**twin dos:** you better appreciate all the hard work she put into that

**baby:** is it to your liking?

**orrrganic:** chromch

**chanathan:** the noodles are rock solid for extra Cronch

**orrrganic:** good

**wackson:** cromch

**baby:** jackson!!

**twin dos:** **cromch**

**chanathan:** phat cronch

**slut drop king:** @chanathan Do we need to talk

**jackson:** hi Jeongin!!

**twin dos:** do it in the dms ya nasties   
  


**twin dos:** wait no do it here I live for the marital discourse 

**slut drop king:** Chan

**baby:** I am here, the squire

**baby:** here to protect and not eavesdrop

**twin dos:** Felix here to eavesdrop 

**chanathan:** wit

**slut drop king:** I will divorce you if you send another cursed image :)

**chanathan:** hey look it’s me

**chanathan:** hauding ma wheesht

**slut drop king** : What the fuck

**chanathan:** ITS SCOTS

**baby:** such a lovely couple

**chanathan:** <333

**slut drop king:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> join my discord fuckers  
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


	8. he was strangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin's friend almost gets strangled and more people are added to the group chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ateez has been added. there's intros later in the chapter so i'm not putting them here
> 
> it's shorter than the last one because the last one was copy pasted from discord this one was all me typing and i'm tired

**lettuce bros [6:24]**

**orrrganic:** just so y’all know i'm gonna be kind of inactive the next couple days

**baby:** why???

**orrrganic:** oh one of my friends is in the hospital

**chanathan:** oh my god are they okay? What happened?

**orrrganic:** oh he was playing a game of mafia with his friends and it got really out of hand

**orrrganic:** he was the mafia and won and his friend got upset and strangled him

**wackson:** jesus christ

**orrrganic:** it was a team effort one of them held him down and the other choked him

**orrrganic:** the rest watched before one of them finally pulled them apart

**orrrganic:** he should be fine but they took him to the hospital to make sure they didn’t crush his windpipe or something and i’ll be over at their apartment for the next few days to mediate

**wackson:** let me guess

**wackson:** wooyoung is the one that got choked

**orrrganic:** nah wooyoung is actually the one who did the choking

**orrrganic:** jongho is the one that held mingi down

**lonk boii:** your friends scare me

**orrrganic:** hmm well you better get used to them i’ll be adding them to this chat

**satan:** wait what

**orrrganic has added apple breaker, mango, puppy, minion boy, mars, hellmo, sans, and sk8r to ‘lettuce bros’**

**twin uno:** yo san my man how you been

**sans:** well pretty good except for an unfortunately failed attempt at murder

**mars:** San, I swear to god. Wooyoung could have legitimately killed him, that is not okay.

**baby:** oh you got punctuated

**minion boy:** He’s right, Woo.

**hellmo:** bitch deserved it for lying to my face

**chanathan:** THAT:S THE POINT OF THE GAME???!?!?!!

**hellmo:** dilligaf

**slut drop king:** someone translate

**twin dos:** do i look like i give a fuck

**slut drop king:** ah

**sk8r:** i think it was almost as funny as when we chopped off hongjoong’s mullet

**apple breaker:** hehehe that was great

**lonk boii:** I Am: Scared

**apple breaker:** good :}

**puppy:** i’d be concerned if you weren’t

**chanathan:** can we get introductions i have no clue who you are

**minion boy:** hongjoong

**mars:** Seonghwa

**hellmo:** Wooyoung

**puppy:** Yunho!!!

**sans:** san   
  


**apple breaker:** jongho

**sk8r:** yeosang

**mars:** Mango is Mingi, but he’s currently being checked on in the hospital.

**chanathan:** cool. I'm chan

**wackson:** jackson

**baby:** Jeongin

**twin uno:** Jisung

**twin dos:** felix

**orrrganic:** changbin

**slut drop king:** minho

**satan:** Seungmin

**lonk boii:** hyunjin

**hellmo:** hehe

  
**hellmo:** this is going to be fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once this gets 1000 hits and my Discord Server gets 20 people I'll update all my fics and post a new one.
> 
> Join the discord or perish :)  
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


	9. realttionship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felix can't spell, seonghwa is the only person that uses correct grammar, and hyunsung are *definitely* not having hate sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a fucking update
> 
> I've been absolutely swamped with classwork and I've been meaning to write but i haven't been able to. I'm going to try and update more (once or twice a month) but I don't know if it's going to happen ://

**lettuce bros [3:16]**

**mango:** hello?? What is this?????

**hellmo:** well if it isn’t the lying bastard himself

**orrrganic:** hi mingi

**orrrganic:** how are you feeling?

**mango:** unsafe

**mango:** i can hear wooyoung talking outside my door

**hellmo:** you best be careful motherfucker

**mars:** Wooyoung, knock it off.

**sans:** ruh roh it’s the  _ correct punctuation _

**chanathan:** yeah who types in correct grammar thats weird???

**mars:** Am I really the only one here that types correctly?

**minion boy:** i mean yeah

**twin uno:** we mostly type in keyboard smash

**twin dos:** gRHHJEBGJEHBJHERGB

**apple breaker:** can a keyboard smash be aggressive??

**twin dos:** did that one feel aggressive?

**apple breaker:** it felt like you were choking on something

**slut drop king:** well i mean…..he might be

**twin dos:** it sounds like you’re implying i'm not the top in my realttionship

**twin dos:** realtionship

**slut drop king:** take your time bud

**twin dos:** RELATIONSHIP

**satan:** well are you?

**twin dos:** lmao i wouldn’t know we just cuddle 👉👈

**twin uno:** awe cute

**twin dos:** he’s sleeping right now and it’s cute

**chanathan:** a whole babie

**sk8r:** wait who is in a relationship with who?

**chanathan:** i'm in one with Minho

**chanathan:** felix and jeongin are dating

**chanathan:** and i'm pretty sure Jisung and Hyunjin are having borderline hate sex

**orrrganic:** THEY WHAT

**twin uno:** EW NO

**lonk boii:** I just threw up in my mouth

**lonk boii:** There is no way in hell I would let his rat looking mouth come near me

**sans:** Wooyoungie and I are also in a relationship :DDD

**hellmo:** pfffft gay

**sans:** ……………………...Yes that’s

**sans:** that’s the point

**puppy:** lmaooooooooo

**mango:** i frogot who is jeongin

**twin dos:** it’s @/baby

**mango:** oh cool

**mango:** i'm really tired

**minion boy:** get some rest mingi

**mango:** will do dad

**satan:** not another dad

**orrrganic:** please tell me you don’t tell shitty jokes like chan does

**minion boy:** depends on the day

**sk8r:** he does a lot but they’re not horrible

**apple breaker:** yeah honestly they’re really not that bad

**satan:** thank god

**chanathan:** hey my jokes aren’t that bad

**slut drop king:** YOU LITERALLY FUCKING ASKED ME OUT BY TELLING ME THAT IF I WAS A TRANSFORMER I WOULD BE OPTIMUS FINE

**slut drop king:** THEYR”E AWFUL

**chanathan:** well you’re still my boyfriend so they can’t be that bad :<

**twin uno:** they are very much that bad

**lonk boii:** they are

\--

**lettuce bros [8:45]**

**mars:** I'm headed over to the hospital to pick up Mingi, and I'm going to swing by the convenience store on the way back. Does anyone want some snacks?

**chanathan:** lol i completely forgot we all live near eachother

**twin dos:** could you get me some honey chips?

**hellmo:** will you get me some chocolate

**wackson:** i'm good bro thanks for offering though

**Apple breaker:** some pockys please

**lonk boii:** can i have some maltesers?

**sk8r:** i'm good, thanks seonghwa hyung

**orrrganic:** i just got groceries so i'm good

**mars:** Okay, anyone else?

**minion boy:** just some vanilla ice cream please

**mars:** I wrote it down already.

**mars:** Okay, I’ll be dropping that stuff off in an hour or so.

**mars:** See you guys soon!

**apple breaker:** see you hyung!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join my discord or I'll "accidentally" face plant into your ass
> 
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


	10. date night???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone has a date, and chan and minho worry (unnecessarily, i might add)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll likely be updating at the beginning and middle of every month, (1-3 ish and 14-17 ish), just so you know i have some sort of update schedule

**lettuce bros [5:53]**

**sk8r:** i hate school

**twin uno:** yo same!

**sk8r:** what if we skipped together

**twin uno:** I would but i'm busy rn

**sk8r:** lame

**minion boy:** yeosang no skipping school you need an education no matter how shitty it is

**sk8r:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**sk8r:** but what about the times seonghwa-hyung has skipped?

**chanathan:** wow what perfect boy seonghwa has skipped school?

**mars:** Yes, I have.

**mars:** No, you don’t get to know why.

**apple breaker:** oooooh, secrecy

**sans:** but you know why we’ve skipped school before :<<<<<

**hellmo:** yeah, tell us!

**minion boy:** don’t pressure him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.

**orrrganic:** does that mean you know hongjoong??

**minion boy:** i do but i'm not telling you either i respect seonghwa’s decision

**twin dos:** aight cool

**twin dos:** jisung what are you doing bro we don’t have any classes today

**twin uno:** homework

**satan:** you told me you were done with your homework

**mango:** oop

**slut drop king:** what are you really doing jisung

**twin uno:** if you must know I'm going on a date

**lonk boii:** cap

**orrrganic:** cap

**chanathan:** cap

**wackson:** cap

**twin uno:** ROOD

**twin uno:** i am going on a date you hoes stfu

**minion boy:** lmao i guess we’ll see huh

**baby:** where are you going?

**twin uno:** i'm going over to their house

**twin uno:** like i’d tell you the restaurant we were going to even if we were going to a restaurant

**satan:** booooo

**puppy:** is this your first date??

**twin uno:** with this person?

**twin uno:** no

**mango:** ooooooooh

**chanathan:** why did i not know about this???

**slut drop king:** why didn’t any of us know?

**twin uno:** because i didn’t want to tell you :/

**chanathan:** why not??

**twin uno:** because i knew you two would get all smothering parent over me

**slut drop king:** sungie we have good reason your previous relationships haven’t been very good

**twin uno:** it’s different this time

**twin uno:** i'm putting this on mute until i get back

**twin uno:** bye

**hellmo:** ……..so

**hellmo:** he’s mad at you

**chanathan:** very much so

**chanathan:** but that happens like at least once or twice a month so

**sans:** he’s probably just stressed because of school so you guys hovering is making him more stressed

**slut drop king:** i know but i can’t help but worry about all of them

**orrrganic:** we know hyung

**orrrganic:** but sometimes you worry a bit too much

**baby:** plus we have even more parents now so you don’t have to worry!!

**satan:** we’ll be fine, sungie will be fine, just relax

**slut drop king:** hhhhhhh fine

**chanathan:** come cuddle to destress

**lonk boii:** cuddle or “cuddle”

**chanathan:** cuddle

**slut drop king:** cuddle

**mango:** awe cute

**mango:** if only i wasn’t lonely

**apple breaker:** lmaoooo imagine being lonely :,)

**puppy:** that message is sending very mixed messages

**twin dos:** i think he’s saying he’s lonely

**apple breaker:** perhaps

**satan:** _ perhaps _

\--

**lettuce bros [11:26]**

**chanathan:** jisung where the fuck are you it’s almost midnight and i haven’t heard you come home

**satan:** kinda creepy bro are you like standing outside his door.

**slut drop king:** we’re next door neighbors

**chanathan:** yeah sungie lives in the apartment right next to us

**mars:** Have you tried calling him?

**chanathan:** he’s not picking up

**lonk boii:** everyone spam his @ he has notifications for that on

**twin dos:** @twin uno

**slut drop king:** @twin uno

**lonk boii:** @twin uno

**chanathan:** @twin uno

**minion boy:** @twin uno

**baby:** @twin uno

**twin uno:** JESUS WHAT DO YOU WANT

**twin uno:** I”M FINE

**twin uno:** i'm staying over at my boyfriend’s place

**mars:** Alright, have fun.

**twin uno:** i will thanks

**chanathan:** okay sungie

**chanathan:** i’ll see you later

\--

Jisung set his phone down with a soft sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You okay?” his boyfriend asked, entering the room with a bowl of popcorn and sitting beside him on the couch. Jisung kicked at him, but missed his boyfriend’s leg entirely and sent the bowl of popcorn flying across the room.

“I’m not picking that up,” Jisung said immediately.

“You’re the one who kicked it,” his boyfriend said.

“Because you’re annoying,” Jisung huffed. “Telling them all to at me when I was just trying to vibe”

His boyfriend cringed visibly. “Please never say vibe in my presence again.”   
  


“Why, does it harsh your vibe?” Jisung asked with a snicker.

His boyfriend sighed deeply. “You’re such a dick.”   
  


“I’m your dick,” Jisung said. “Wait. Wait no that wasn’t right.”

“No, it definitely was not,” his boyfriend said amusedly, giving Jisung a peck on the lips. “But that’s okay, I love you anyways.”   
  


“Hmmmm, I wish I could say the same,” Jisung said, before screeching as his boyfriend began tickling his sides. “HEY! STOP IT!!” he yelled, “I yield! I YIELD!”

“Say you love me and I’ll stop, Sungie,” his boyfriend said with a smile.

“Stop tickling me! I'm sensitive!”

His boyfriend sighed and stopped, moving his hands up to Jisung’s face and kissing him gently. Jisung kissed him back, tangling his fingers in his boyfriend’s long, blonde hair. His boyfriend broke away from the kiss after a few moments.

“I love you, Jisung,” his boyfriend said softly.

Jisung smiled, bumping his forehead against the older’s. “I love you too, Hyunjin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Join my Discord!
> 
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


	11. skateboarding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys bully jisung pt 69 or smth i'm not counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i actually updated on time
> 
> it's not my favorite chapter but it's decent yaknow

**lettuce bros [10:13]**

**twin uno:** i am back home :D

**sk8r boy:** how was your date?

**sans:** did u smash

**twin uno:** blissfully ignoring that last question

**twin uno:** my date was good

**hellmo:** san’s question was important

**twin uno:** _ blissfully ignorant _

**orrrganic:** sounds like a yes to me

**twin uno:** SHUT

**wackson:** oop

**mars:** San, Wooyoung, leave Jisung alone.

**chanathan:** if you did i hope you used protection

**twin uno:** i'm responsible of course we did

**twin uno:** WAIT FUCK

**hellmo:** AHWDBAJAAHSDJD

**sans:** men

**sans:** we got him

**chanathan:** i'm glad you made it home safe sungie

**slut drop king:** how long have you and your boyfriend been dating?

**twin uno:** 4 months

**twin uno:** yesterday was our anniversary lol

**satan:** i’d say congrats but also you celebrated by fucking so

**hellmo:** AHSDJDJBASJ   
  
**sans:** the savagery

**twin uno:** the  _ slander _

**twin uno:** this is bullying

**twin uno:** dad tell them to stop bullying me

**chanathan:** kids stop bullying jisung

**hellmo:** uR nOt My DaD

**minion boy:** wooyoung :))))

**hellmo:** ah but you are so i guess i’ll stop

**minion boy:** thank you

**sans:** fineeeee

**sk8r boi:** n e ways does anyone want to go long/skateboarding around campus with me

**sk8r boi:** my class got cancelled

**chanathan:** hell yeah i do

**slut drop king:** don’t break your arm again dumbass

**chanathan:** yessir

**lonk boii:** sure

**twin uno:** i’ll go!

**twin dos:** I will too

**sk8r boi:** cool i’ll see y'all there

**sk8r boi:** if anyone else wants to come later just show up ig

**sans:** i might come after my class

**sk8r boi:** aight see y’all soon

**sk8r boi:** let’s meet at the fountain near the fine arts building

\--

**lettuce bros [10:32]**

**chanathan:** Y’ALL HOLY SHIT

**twin uno:** CHAN I SWEAR TO GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP

**twin dos:** AHSBHDBJDB JISUNG YOUR NECK IS FUCKING COVERED IN HICKIES AAHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**slut drop king:** IT”S WHAT

**hellmo:** OH MY GOD AKJSNDAKNDAKSDNAKDJN

**twin uno:** I HATE YOU ALL

**lonk boii:** learn to use concealer dumbass

**twin uno:** FUCK YOU

**lonk boii:** lmao you wish bitch

\--

“Holy shit, Jisung,” Chan said, tears of laughter falling down his face. “Were you attacked?”

“Can you just drop it?” Jisung snapped.

Hyunjin’s brow furrowed slightly. “Why are you so upset?”

“Yeah, we’re just joking around,” Felix said.

“Well, it’s not funny,” Jisung said angrily, pulling his hood up over his head before dropping his board to the sidewalk and skating off. Hyunjin’s eyes flashed with worry and he skated off after Jisung.

Yeosang approached Chan and Felix. “What just happened?” he asked curiously.

“We kept bothering Jisung after he asked us to stop,” Felix said, looking down at the ground in shame. “So he stormed off and Hyunjin followed him for some reason? It’s kinda weird since they don’t like each other.”

“Huh,” Yeosang said. “Should we go after them?”

“I mean we might want to just to make sure Hyunjin doesn’t say something,” Chan said, finally calming down.

“Let’s go then, “ Yeosang said.

\--

“Jisung, wait up!” Hyunjin called.

Jisung huffed quietly and stopped, waiting for Hyunjin to catch up to him. “What?”

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked softly, worry in his eyes. “Did I do something?”

“I’m fine,” Jisung said. “You didn’t do anything wrong, they’re just really persistent about this and it’s kind of annoying but it’s whatever. I should have put on some concealer.”

“After this I’ll take you out for ice cream, okay babe?” Hyunjin said.

Jisung nodded, hugging Hyunjin tightly. “I love you.”   
  
Hyunjin smiled. “I love you too,” he said, hugging Jisung briefly before letting go as he heard the voices of their friends approaching.

Jisung stepped away from him just as Chan, Felix, and Yeosang came around the corner.

“Hey,” Chan greeted. “Sorry for not dropping it earlier, I should’ve stopped when you asked.”   
  
“It’s fine,” Jisung said with a shrug.

“Not really but okay,” Chan said.

Jisung sighed softly. “Let’s just board, yeah?”

“Sounds good,” Chan said with a smile, Yeosang nodding as well.

Felix looked between Hyunjin and Jisung, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Yeah. Let’s go,” he finally said.

\--

**twin dos has added chanathan, slut drop king, and 12 others to a chat**

**twin dos has named the chat ‘Operation Hyunsung(????)’**

**chanathan:** ?????? whats this????

  
**twin dos:** I think Hyunjin and Jisung are dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join my Discord!
> 
> https://discord.gg/T2kn3Yz


End file.
